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modest proposal

It brings great obstacles to those who walk down the halls of Silverado High School day in and day out to be by bombarded by thirty-six hundred plus students. This prompts trying to go to the bathroom between classes beyond implausible, for it’s intense enough to just make it to class on time as it is without trying to make a pit stop at the bathroom. Students have been reduced to plowing and shoving their way through people in order to possibly make it to class and be in their seat before the tardy bell rings. I think all parents and more important, students involved will agree that this gargantuan number of students trying to push through one another to make it to the restroom or simply to be on time for class is leaving all entangled in a present state of rage and irritation over this subsequent grievance to their already stressful existence. Therefore, we, the students and parents, need to find an economical, practical solution to allow students to walk the hallways with ease.Having contributed multiple years pondering this very subject, and after careful consideration of the suggestions of my colleagues, I continually discovered them to be dreadfully mistaken in their computations. With that in mind, here’s my plan of action, I propose to herd students just like the cattle they are, with hall monitors being awarded the job of herding students up and down stairs and preventing the slowing or stopping, for that matter, of traffic. In order to enable students to get to class in one piece, the school day will be extended to seven p.m. This will give students forty-five minutes to get to class and to get to class in one piece. To get from one class to another, one will have to go through a series of locks and wait for the pasture to clear, thereby constituting the additional hours of school. The new system will cut done on the calculated five hundred fights each day that occur trying to get to class. It has been proven tha...

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