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listening for understanding

Listening is an important form of communication. Unfortunately, many people who do not know how to listen believe they can listen well. They often say "I have been doing this all of my life of course I can listen". Listening is not inherited, or a personality trait, it is a skill that must be worked on and practiced.Anybody can become a good listener if they are committed to learn how and are willing to work hard. The first mistake that people tend to make when listening is to not make any type of comments while listening. They tend to just stand there and listen while the speaker talks. This can become very frustrating for the speaker and the listener. While the speaker may feel like he isn't being listened to, the listener may find some parts of the speakers talk confusing and hard to follow. Without comments, his concerns and confusion are never addressed. The simplest way to help a speaker along and show that you are listening is with subtle cues such as "hum", and "uh", "huh". While this is not a complicated form of listening it shows the speaker that you are paying attention to them. This is also good to way to show the focus of your attention is on the speaker. These subtle terms can be increased in effectiveness by adding good posture, proper facial expressions and eye contact to show the speaker that you are paying attention. Not only will this make the speaker more at ease, but it gives you a chance, as a listener, to help clarify the conversation such as "You don't say," "what?" etc. These comments can show the listener not only that you are listening but that you might have questions concerning what is being said. To be a good listener, one must always keep from becoming to emotional about the subject being discussed. If the subject being discussed makes you angry, you must keep from letting your emotions control you. Try to listen to what the speaker is trying to say and not to what is making you angry. Su...

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