their lives. They literally see the world through eyes, which are continually distorted and reinforce the conflicts, which are already present. Conflicts of trust vs. mistrust and autonomy vs. shame are so painful that the entire thrust of life is devoted to resolving this on going dilemma. Glen O Gabbard said a patient suffering from a borderline personality disorder once told him, “Life was just one enormous obstacle course after another.” Often a person suffering with the effects a borderline personality disorder is unable to contain his or her emotions and has massive mood shifts. These feelings are reactivated from infancy when the primary caregiver was unable to soothe the infant, which now leaves an adult unable to calm itself. The borderline constantly searches for an interpersonal relationship, which will provide the parenting they are so desperately in need of. At the point a fragile bond forms, the borderline transfers all the fears of intimacy and the rage of being denied to the new partner. Desperate feelings of abandonment keep the borderline involved and the infancy conflicts of mistrust and shame get acted out and reinforced all over again. This only strengthens the pathology that already exists in the borderline personality. Intimate bonding is the primary drive of life so this pathological process continues. It is of key importance to realize that this is the only way the borderline knows to love. If all hope of resolving these “love” conflicts is lost, a state of total despair envelops the borderline and suicidal ideations are present. This same conflict of a need to trust, but an inability to do so, is displayed quite differently in the narcissist. The narcissist operates with an insatiable appetite. The infant rarely experiences satiation due to a lack of limitations being put in place by a competent caregiver who can help the infant manage rage, the narcissist sees each potent...
