er husband Harold for eight years and they split the cost of everything equally, although Lena consumes far less than Harold. Lena got Harold to open his own business and worked there as a project coordinator. She also gave him the idea of opening up a restaurant. When Ying-ying goes to visit them she notices the list of shared items on the refrigerator has ice cream on it. She also knows that Lena does not like ice cream and tells Lena that they must not share ice cream, so Lena tells Harold that and he agrees, but Lena picks a fight anyway. During the fight Ying-ying breaks a vase on the table and asks Lena why she didn't stop it. Lena is silent in her marriage because she saw her mother silent in hers. Ying-ying tires to teach her daughter that expressing her wishes is not selfish on her visit because she does not want her daughter to make the same mistake she did. Another example of this is that a few months before her death, Suyuan cooked a crab dinner for the Chinese New Year. There was eleven people coming, but Suyuan hadn't counted one. The guests chose the best crabs, and when Jing-mei went to choose a crab she was going to pick the one with a missing leg, but her mother insisted that she choose the better of the remaining two. This shows that Jing-mei is different than the others, but the others had to have the best just like their mothers.Another part of the book touches on how the mother shows her daughter how to grow beyond her "innocence" without losing hope. It also shows how when a mother learns from her mistakes how she tries to teach her daughter without having to make the same mistake. Also this book demonstrates that the older generation can and does learn from the younger generation. An example of this is that due to Lena's marriage trouble it forces Ying-ying to confront her painful first marriage.Another major point this book touches upon is the fact that the American-raised daughters are Chinese not...
