e of them would kill another one, and all the others would detach themselves from the killer as neatly as blood clotting (32). But he cannot keep this up in the face of so much human cruelty, and slowly begins the conversion to cynicism. When the dragon arrives, his vague cynicism takes a new direction: nihilism. Futility, doom, became a smell in the air, pervasive and acrid as the dead smell after a forest fire; my scent and the worlds... (75). Yet Grendel still protests the idea that his actions are meaningless, refuses to commit himself fully to the world of the Shaper or dragon, or even an internal notion of truth. His indecision combines with his feelings of rejection and Grendel becomes angry at the world for being so confusing. "An angry man does not usually shake his fist at the universe in general. He makes a selection and knocks knocks his neighbor down" (69). Because of this anger, Grendel kills. But even though he acts without regard for any moral implications, his killing, like any action, still has meaning, if only by the fact that he chose to kill. It is, in essence, a misguided attempt to deny the meaninglessness of life by destroying it. His continued attempts at reducing meaning are illustrated in many forms. He eats the priests, reducing religion to something that "sits in the stomach like duck eggs" (129). He humiliates Unferth, reducing heroism to a whimpering man. This ultimately comes to Grendel's attempted murder of Wealtheow, their queenly female ideal. Even though he concludes that killing her "would be as meaningless as letting her live," the fact that he willingly chooses the former proves that he has not fully accepted nihilism. Through it all runs a current of desperation and denial; if life is meaningless, why must Grendel go to so much effort to prove it? Why not just do as the dragon advises, "seek out gold and sit on it," (74) wrapped up in ultimate self-centeredness? The irony of nihilism, and one rea...
