find acceptable, so as not to upset or appall him. This is a direct contradiction of the identity Joan assumed when dealing with her mother. Instead of going against Paul=s wishes, Joan is acquiescent and passive. Her passiveness is easily visible during the beginning of her stay in Paul=s home as his mistress when she allows him to take her virginity without saying a word. AHe understood that he was getting into bed with me, and he understood that I understood this also@ (Atwood 147). Instead of voicing concern, or an opinion of any kind, Joan simply lets Paul do as he will. That becomes the pattern with Joan as her relationship with Paul progresses. She is careful not to say or do anything that he doesn=t agree with. She is mindful of his opinions, and she always lets him have the final say in matters. Her identity at this point is based on Paul. She is nothing more than an extension of Paul. Problems begin when Joan tries to break out of this pattern. Paul=s tolerance and patience regarding Joan began to whither as she started to do more things for herself, instead of doing things that pleased him. A...[Paul] began to have fits of jealousy. It was all right as long as I did nothing but loll around the flat, reading and typing out my Costume Gothics and going nowhere except with him@ (Atwood 158). Joan=s identity had gone from being based on Paul=s wishes to being based on wishes of her own, and this meant that Joan no longer shaped herself around what she thought Paul would like. This, of course, did not sit well with Paul, and the turmoil in his relationship with Joan grew until she left and moved in with Arthur, leaving only a note behind. It seems as though once Joan decided to base her identity off of what she wanted instead of what Paul wanted, she could no longer have a relationship with him.However, Joan=s relationship with Arthur is much like her relationship with Paul. Once married and settled down, Joan re...
