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Pauls Case

not bear to return the living-dead life that he hoped he had left behind forever, so he removed the living part with the help of a very large, very loud locomotive. Paul's father had abused him emotionally, and probably physically, throughout Paul's life. He did so much to Paul's flagging self-image that he had to boast to others to make himself feel big, when he felt tiny inside. When he finally achieved that "bigness" that he always wanted, the glamour of "the good life," his father found him out and took that away from him, or rather, made Paul give it up. This made Paul feel even smaller and made him feel that he would be better off dead. So Paul decided to make his life "better off" and he "offed" himself. This was Paul's fathers share of the blame. Paul's teachers didn't understand Paul and didn't understand his different learning methods, or his abusive home life. They made Paul feel as if he were inferior to the other students, and that he was not worthy of their extra time for tutoring sessions, which only further discouraged Paul from wanting to learn. If they had understood his needs better, he may not have gotten into so much trouble in school. He might not have felt it was necessary to ignore and make fun of the teachers if they had made an effort to get to know him. Unfortunately though, they made Paul feel like an outsider, only stomping on his already small image of self-worth. Paul did not feel like the teachers deemed him worthy of their time so he transposed that to mean that school was not worthy of his time, so he blew it off with a shrug. All of these things, Paul's lack of drive, his father's lack of love, and his teachers' lack of effort combined to make Paul's life a very dismal one, and one that could be ended without much of a thought on Paul's part. Paul considered shooting himself with the gun he bought, then decided it wasn't worth it in the next minute, and then the very next day he kills himself anyway b...

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