and that I hated him. He left and climbed into bed with mymother. The emotional pain that I experienced that night was so overpowering that it washard to believe. Once I was safe I laid awake on the couch and cried till I couldn'tanymore. I knew that I couldn't stay in this house anymore, not with him living there. It was probably around 1:00 when I decided that I had to get out. I left a note formy mother saying where I was going and if she wanted to know why she would have toask my step-father. I ran as fast as I could, with tears streaming down my face. Withterror in my eyes I approached my neighbors house, the woman who told me her doorswere always open. I went in and told her exactly what happened, she held me in her armswhile I cried and wished my life would get back to normal.Back at home my mother found the note and called my neighbors house askingwhat was going on. She came over and I told her exactly what happened. She said shewas going back to my house and I was going with her, I absolutely refused and spent thenight at my neighbors. I told her that I did not want her to go back in fear of what mystep-father may do to her, because of some past experiences. It turned out he didn't doanything to her, but when she asked him what happened that night he claimed he couldn'tremember. Since this happened last summer I have been to counseling and received help, yetthere is still a part of me that feels violated beyond belief. I am glad that I can talk aboutthis subject without crying, although inside I want to burst. Writing this paper has givenme the best treatment possible because I feel like I just took a ton of bricks off myshoulders. Nothing can heal my pain because it is not like a scratch that will heal, it issomething only I know exists. You can not see this pain because it lurks within mymemories. But to this day I ask myself "WHY????"...
