in (13). Siddhartha was completely devoted to his goal. For a long time he was filled with pain and thirst until there was no more pain or thirst in him. Many times, Siddhartha felt that he was able to let his soul leave his body and be without his Self. Every time, however, it would return. He confided in Govinda, his shadow, who followed wherever Siddhartha went, that he now thought that this was not the correct route to Nirvana, that teachings couldnt be. Govinda first thought that his friend was joking but when news of the Buddha, the Illustrious One, came and Siddhartha said he was leaving the Samanas and was going to see this Buddha, Govinda followed.Together, Siddhartha and Govinda traveled to the town in which the Buddha was staying. They beg for food and are offered a place to stay the night. The next day they go to hear the Buddhas preachings. Both of them agree that the Buddha is truly holy and enlightened. Govinda is so moved that he decides to stay. Siddhartha though, distrustful of teachings, decides he must continue on. Govinda is shocked that Siddhartha does not wish to stay here with this holy man and they part tearfully. Before leaving, Siddhartha goes to talk with the Buddha and tells that he is not staying because he doesnt think that the Buddha can help him achieve Nirvana. The Buddha listens to him but is not upset by his words. Siddhartha believes that although the Buddha has taken his friend from him, he has given him something else. He gave Siddhartha the realization that he cannot find enlightenment from teachings and that he must find his own path. After he leaves the Buddha, Siddhartha goes on his way and thinks. He believes he has left his old life behind and he is now a man. The realization that wisdom is gained but cannot be taught came to him. He began to see everything in a new light, not as a cruel trick, but more as a gift. In separating himself from everything he had previously be...
