s unlikely to be true. Being a lesbian is not widely accepted in society, and being in a lesbian relationship even less so. We have a somewhat distorted view here in Seattle, where the gay/lesbian vote can change the outcome of elections if these voters are not treated with respect. This is seldom true in the rest of the U.S. and even here lesbian relationships are not widely given the societal status routinely experienced by a hetero couple. Since they cannot become legally married, issues of property rights, parental rights, and others are very clouded. Both individuals can use the threat of exposure to control the other, or if one lesbian is "out" and the other not, this can easily be used as a weapon of control. Besides the external homophobia in society, which few heterosexuals have any real understanding of, there is the issue of internalized homophobia. After all, lesbians grew up in this society which does not take women seriously, and particularly women who step outside the accepted roles of good little wife and mother. So internalized homophobia, being ashamed of one's sexuality and identity, wondering if some of the scorn and discrimination might be deserved, and general low self esteem is quite common among both gays and lesbians. And example of internalized homophobia occurred this year when I invited a gay friend to come march in the Gay/Lesbian Pride Parade in June. In response to my invitation he replied, "Gay Pride, what a joke, it should be called Gay Shame. Don't invite me to participate in that farce!" That was a particularly clear example. Lesbian couples are forced even more strongly that hetero couples to depend on each other and on their relationship for creating a safe and satisfying life. Since hetero couples are finding this increasingly difficult to do in the face of the breakdown of our society, it is not surprising that lesbian couples find this an additional source of pressure on the relationship. Society ...
