The Universal Barriers that Affect All Relationships, Human


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Back to Subjects - Human Sexuality

the universal barriers that affect all relationships

the universal barriers that affect all relationships The Universal Barriers That Affect All Since the beginning of mankind, sexual relationships between people have always been and always will be crucial to the continuance of humanity. This idea applies to everyone, no matter what race you are or what your sexual preference is. But with every start of a relationship, there have always been issues that surround us in how we are to go forward with starting these relationships. And with these issues, there are barriers. Barriers that stop us from saying how we feel, how we act, how we feel about ourselves. Barriers can either be externally or internally, and these barriers stop us from forming relationships with people we feel attracted to. An example of one of these barriers would be physical unattractiveness. It is stated that barriers affect all people from all over the world. Attractiveness is a physical trait that all people from all walks of life view as an important part of the initiation process of a relationship. Various countries and cultures have their own scales of what is important to their society in sexuality and relationships. For example, coming from a Chinese background, females are to be passive and never to be the initiator in a relationship, therefore always having Chinese women perceived as being passive and shy. Whereas in America, it is not such of a big issue for a woman in our society to make a "first move" and ask a man out. Despite all the issues that we have surrounding barriers, barriers are a part of life and affect everyone, regardless of your race, gender, sexual preference, or society. The four most common barriers that people face day in, and day out. The four most common barriers that we encounter are physical unattractiveness, fear of rejection, shyness and traditional sex roles as stated in "Sex and Relationships" by John P. Elia. These barriers are universal. To support my argument, I will explain the concepts of these barriers and how they affect the decisions of our daily lives. The first barrier I will address and feel is the first and foremost important barrier of all is Physical Unattractiveness. This is the number one external barrier that the majority of all people put on their list when looking for a mate. With all of the media and Hollywood showing us what the perfect body is, what beauty is suppose to look like, and that beauty is the number one thing in the world. People stress that physical attractiveness is the most important thing in a relationship. Do not get me wrong, initial physical attractiveness is what basically motivates people to initiate a "first move" because of the attraction they feel toward this person. If we do not find this person attractive, then it is more likely that a platonic friendship would start between these two individuals. But what if the situation was reversed, and it was we who was being perceived as unattractive. This would certainly lower our self-esteem and cause us to be afraid to initiate or approach individuals we find attractive. This notion does not matter if you are heterosexual or homosexual, it applies to all The second most important barrier is Fear of Rejection. People who are subject to this barrier, which is the majority of us, are afraid to build up the confidence and the nerve to approach an individual, and then have it "shot down". This is an unpleasant feeling which "can lower self-esteem and lead to embarrassment in front of others" according to Kiesler & Baral, Krebs & Adinolfi, and Reis (pg 33). Therefore, due to these factors, the formation of sexual relationships according to Huston, Shanteau, and Nagy (pg 33), "People are not likely to choose as potential dates those who they think are unlikely to accept their offer". This issue holds true and applies to people all walks of life. Pertaining to my own personal experience, I have always been afraid of rejection, and it has always seemed to hold me back from initiating the "first moves" to people I felt a Bibliography:

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