utrescent, so sickening soft, that it opened, as I clawed and cried, into a breach so enormous as to swallow me alive" (17). His mother is a symbol of his homosexuality, and as she tries to embrace him and pull him into her, he fights and tries to escape. The fact that David feels that she is pulling him into a "breach" or abyss confirms the idea that she represents his struggle with homosexuality. It is evident because David's first gay lover, Joey, is also described as an abyss: "That body suddenly seemed the black opening of a cavern in which I would be tortured till madness came, in which I would lose my manhood" (15). The parallel between David's mother and Joey supports the fact that David is trying to keep the manhood that his father expects him to possess. But David's feelings of his mother watching over him, suggests that despite his efforts to escape the abyss, his mother and homosexuality are always going to be a part of him. Although David tries to reject his homosexuality to retain his manhood, Baldwin suggests through the dominating spirit of the mother that David will not be able to escape from his true identity. David's mother, as a symbol of his homosexuality, watches and governs his actions. As David senses, she is the part of him that controls his identity and his relationship with his father: "My mother's photographseemed to rule the room. It was as though her photograph proved how her spirit dominated that air and controlled us all" (18). David must come to terms with the fact that he cannot deny his true self. David's parents are significant to his struggle to accept his homosexuality as part of his true identity. His father wants David to grow up to embody rugged manliness, which leads David to believe that he can't do that as long as he's gay. David ...
