Data Bases • Custom Term Papers • Free Term Papers • Free Research Papers • Free Essays • Free Book Reports • Plagiarism? Links • Top 100 Term Paper Sites • Top 25 Essay Sites • Top 50 Essay Sites • Search 97,000 Papers @ DirectEssays.com • Search 101,000 Papers @ ExampleEssays.com • Search 90,000 Papers @ MegaEssays.com Free Essays • Term Paper Sites • Chuck III's Free Essays • Free College Essays • TermPaperSites.com • My Term Papers • Get Free Essays • Essay World • Planet Papers	Search Lots of Essays Back to Subjects - Miscellaneous divorce a necessary evil divorce a necessary evil As America’s divorce rate continues to skyrocket, it seems that morality continues to plummet. Approximately sixty-five percent of all marriages in America end in divorce, and this number does not seem to be declining any time soon. Are we creating a new generation “Y” of single parents? Is a broken home the wave of the future? If Americans don’t get a grip on morality, this will surely be the case. It is not possible to pinpoint exactly why America’s divorce rate is so high, much higher than that of previous decades. There are so many issues today that contribute to divorce than had existed in the past. Take teen pregnancy, for instance. It is alarming that so many of our children are having children themselves. They feel they must get married at fifteen and sixteen because it is what’s right for the baby. Needless to say, most teen marriages under these circumstances usually end in divorce. What kind of life is this for a child? What kind of values will they learn from their parents example? According to Stuart Shepard, staff writer for Focus on the Family, “divorce tears down our moral and social responsibility to our children. They see marriages as if things don’t work out, you can just leave and not work it out” (Shepard np). Adult children of divorced families are three times more likely to get divorced than adult children raised with both parents in the home (Markman 128). This negative pattern of divorce is one that could go on for generations if Americans are not willing to slow down their rate of divorce. Another contributing factor is the fact that divorce is much more accepted by society as a whole. Even though a lot of American’s are attempting to establish more traditional moral standards for themselves, they are much more acceptable of other’s actions (Zachary 1). And while many Americans claim to not practice or justify infidelity, it still remains the number one cause of divorce (Treas 51). American’s no longer have the fear of being shunned from society after a messy divorce. When my mother’s parents divorced in 1965, they had to leave their neighborhood. The entire family was exiled from its catholic church where they were faithful members, and suddenly my grandmother couldn’t find a bridge partner in the entire town. I don’t feel that couples who get divorced should be treated as if they have the plague. On the other hand, our society’s nonchalant acceptance of divorce makes it seem as if marriage is not meant to be a permanent situation for most. Many more couples live together prior to marriage than in the past (an approximate increase of more than 60%) and these couples are less likely to stay married, probably due to the fact that they are less conservative about marriage and divorce in the first place (Stanley 57). It is this less conservative approach that dooms America’s marital future. Another contributing factor in today’s divorce rate is simply a lack of respect for marriage vows. They seem to be taken with a grain of salt. No one remembers saying “for better or worse”, instead they hear, “he/she will do until something better comes along, until he/she strays, until his/her ex comes looking for child support, until he forgets to put the toilet seat down, or until she hangs her pantyhose in the shower again.” While it’s true that people change long after their marriage vows are said, the vows themselves do not change and people do not realize this. So many Americans approach marriage with a very unrealistic image in their minds. They automatically strive to achieve the average 2.4 children and four bedroom house with a white picket fence. Marriage vows are so much easier said than done and now seem so much more “flexible”. Americans do not have a grip on reality when it comes to the terms of marriage and tend to adjust their wedding vows to suit themselves. People are also coming into marriage with a lot more “baggage” than they used to have. For many people, they are trying marriage for a second time (as if they didn’t learn the first time) with kids in tow, or they are marrying someone else with kids in tow. There could be a disgruntled ex or two out there just waiting to strike. All of this adds up to a very stressful situation. On top of trying to raise perfect kids and maintain careers, they are trying to make up for whatever may have gone wrong in their first marriage or with their own children. Second marriages have the potential to be just as stressful if not more so than first time marriages. According to the US Bureau of the Census of 1999, 60% of all second marriages fail. This proves that things aren’t always better the second time around. Though spouses want to make each other their priority in life, it is very often that work comes before marriage without even consciously thinking of it. It is this prioritization that also causes a huge amount of stress in a marriage. This is because of the fact the economy is so drastically different from that of years ago. It now takes two incomes to survive comfortably in America today. With both partners working now, you have twice as much stress in the relationship. Couples have a lot less time to spend alone these days, kids or not. Spare time is usually spent sleeping, cooking or cleaning. Most working couples will tell you that they see their coworkers twice as much as they see their spouse. In the same respect, women and mothers who are employed are four times more likely to end a marriage before their unemployed counterparts (Mahony np). This is because many women are afraid to leave a marriage due to their financial situation. What does this say for the divorce rate in the future? With more and more women joining the workforce, it can be expected that it will increase drastically. So what is there to be done to decrease America’s divorce rate? Well, you can’t make divorce illegal, it is just a necessary evil that we can never do without. I come from a divorced home and let me tell you, nothing could have kept my parents together. They just made a lot of bad decisions and choosing each other was one of them. Divorce should always be an option, as two people do not deserve to spend a lifetime in misery. The only other way to reverse America’s divorce rate is to decrease it’s marriage rate. Perhaps if Americans were better educated on what it takes to make a marriage work, they might not attempt marriage at all. I feel that it should be a bit harder to get married, and that young Americans should be better educated on the trials and tribulations of marriage. There are a few states trying to implement this idea with some success. In Florida, they have devised a new state rule that gives couples a marriage-license discount if they take a marital education class. Utah includes marital skills in high school curriculums, and Florida makes a marital course a high school graduation requirement (Belluck A14). With students receiving a formal education on the realities of marriage, it is quite likely they will not be willing to rush into marriage before they are truly ready. We require that high school students take a financial course to graduate so that they know how to survive financially in America, why then, is it so different that we furnish our youth with the skills to keep their marriages alive as well? And last but not least, morality should be stressed in every part of society today. There should be more sitcoms about happily married families, not a bunch of horny teen-agers running around having sex. It seems that any plot on a sitcom about a married couple is almost always fueled by infidelity. It is not just what our children witness in our own homes that influences them, but what they see on television and billboards. If little boys see that it is okay to cheat on their wife as long as they don’t get caught, they will become masters at it. And if little girls see that it is “cool” to disrespect themselves and become promiscuous, they may very well follow the leader. It also does not help that our children get to witness our own president’s infidelity by way of the wonderful media. Many people believe that a child’s chances of divorcing later in his/her life can be calculated by just examining his/her childhood and adolescent years (Clements 109). This goes to show that morality is taught purely by example, and if children have poor examples to follow, it will only lead to a morally poor society. There is no easy answer to this epidemic, as sometimes divorce is the answer. It is just deciding when a marriage has truly failed that is the key. Americans are giving up much too easily in today’s society. Giving up on their marriage and on themselves. I feel that if we just took time to appreciate our marriage vows and realize what they truly mean, perhaps divorce may not be so easy. The marriage process has to become more difficult, as anything so easily put together certainly must be easy to brake apart. America’s morality is reflected in every broken home, in every child’s face. At this rate, marriage and divorce will just become quicker and easier, yet regaining our morals will get more and more difficult. Perhaps we ourselves have created a nation where a successful marriage is impossible. Our fast-paced society has not allowed for us to slow down and understand the true meaning of marriage. The solution is simple, however, it’s Bibliography: WORKS CITED Belluck, P. “States Declare War on Divorce Rates, Before Any ‘I Dos’.” New York Times 2000, April 21: section A, p. 1, 14. Clements,M. and S. Stanley. Predicting Divorce: A discriminate analysis. San Francisco: Josey Bass, Inc, 1997. Mahoney, R. “Divorce, nontraditional families, and its consequences for children.” 1997, November 20. 2000, June 25. Markman, H.J. and S. Stanley. Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps For A Loving and Lasting Relationship. San Francisco: Josey Bass, Inc, 1994. Shepard, S. “Study Examined Effects of Divorce”. Focus on Family 2000, June 5: np. Stanley, S. Marriage in the 90’s: A Nationwide Random Phone Survey. Denver, Colorado: PREP, Inc. 1997. Treas, J. and D. Giesen “Sexual Infidelity Among Married and Cohabiting Americans”. Journal of Marriage and the Family Vol 62 (2000) : 48-60. U.S. Bureau of the Census. “Marriage, divorce, and remarriage in the 1990’s.” Washington, D.C.: Us. Government Printing Office, 1998. Zachary, G.P. “America: Straight-Laced Public Yawns at Scandal”. The Wall Street Journal 1998, Feb 9: section B, p.1 Word Count: 1703
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