s directly connected to the problems people encounter when they enter into the lair of a stepfamily as a member. This issue has been entitled “primary process” thinking. This idea of primary process thinking does not have to spell gloom and doom for the stepfamily unit. Nancy Chodorow and Susan Contratto provide a solution. “Secondary process” thinking entails thoughtful analysis and reaction to the surprising realities of a situation, instead of a preconceived, inflexible and emotional response to stepfamily problems. Since times immemorial to the present, America has experienced incredible change in the family arena. Divorce was very rare in Colonial America. It was hard for both men and women. In Puritan New England, you could get a divorce if your spouse couldn’t have children. Most colonies granted what we would call "permanent separations" but neither party could remarry. Many men and some women "divorced" their spouse by leaving town or the colony. (Source: Making America: A History of the Unites States Volume a to 1877 by Carol Berkin) If the courts were presented with a divorce case, an assignment of guilty or not guilty was designated to either husband or wife and the only the person deemed not guilty was permitted to remarry as stated by Kay Pasley and Marilyn Ihinger-Tallman in their book, “Remarriage and stepparenting: current research and theory”. It is clear that society and church had the power to determine the formation of a stepfamily as only the innocent party could remarry. Divorce is difficult no matter where and when it occurs but society and church in colonial New England turned the process into a living nightmare. The sacred vow of “Till death do us part” was thus enforced by the church and society as marriages typically lasted until one of the spouse died. Divorce was almost non-existent as there were merely 1.2 to 4 instances out of every 1,000 marriages f...
