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Poetry
Sexton8217s 8220Wanting to Die8221 an Exploration of the Suicidal Mind
Sexton8217s 8220Wanting to Die8221 an Exploration of the Suicidal Mind Sexton’s “Wanting to Die”, an Exploration of the Suicidal Mind The poem “Wanting to Die” by Anne Sexton, explores a battle with life which many people endure. The speaker knows of the goodness of the world, yet she is unable to truly experience it because of her suicidal tendencies. She understands her feeling as more of an obsession with death rather than a hate for life. Though the speaker is still alive, she relapses, every so often, into the darkness of her soul. Through her vivid use of imagery, Sexton creates and elucidates the speaker’s susceptibility to suicide. It is apparent from the first stanza the speaker finds her life lacking. The first lines of the poem describe the speaker’s ordinary days: “Since you ask, most days I cannot remember. / I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.”( 1-2) The speaker does not think about her bouts with depression. She merely walks in her clothing, or goes about her normal daily activities, unhindered by her past unhappiness. Yet, the third line, “Then the almost unnamable lust returns”, explains her sudden regression from amiable to despondent feelings. After examining a mere three lines the reader already has a strong grasp of the poem’s The next stanza incorporates a slightly happier tone than the first. “Even then I have nothing against life. / I know well the blades of grass you mention, / the furniture you have placed under the sun.” (4-6) The speaker realizes all the good of the world around her-- the things as basic as, like the freshness of grass and the warmth of sunshine. She respects them as do all people. The tone present here is much more up-lifting than in the first stanza and the reader begins to have hope for the speaker. We hope she sees the beauty in life and overcomes her depression. Also this stanza presents the second party, a spouse or mother possibly, attempting to help the speaker see the simple beauty of the world “... the grass blades you mention... furniture you have placed...” ( 5-6) This person seemingly hopes, as the reader does, for the speaker and wants for her every The next stanza invites the reader into the speaker’s mind and soul. We learn depression is more than a hate for life, it is something one must experience to be able to relate to, as in line 7: “But suicides have a special language.” This stanza also alludes to the fact that when the speaker is suicidal she refrains from looking at the big picture; instead she focuses on the few bad experiences which drive her that much deeper into depression. The following stanza invites the reader to learn about the suicide attempts of the speaker: “Twice I have simply declared myself, / have possessed the enemy, eaten the enemy, / have taken on his craft, his magic” (10 - 12). Here the reader learns of the speaker’s two suicide attempts. This stanza also implies the speaker’s anger toward her illness. She associates her depression as the enemy, almost as if depression were the devil in flesh coming to her, haunting her, luring her to death, a death of submission. The fifth stanza, with its vivid images, is exceedingly descriptive in its discussion of the speaker’s means of suicide: “ In this way, heavy and thoughtful, / warmer than oil or water, / I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole.” (13-15) First, the reader learns of the speaker’s mental state immediately prior to her attempt at her life- a pensive and sad state. Next we can almost feel the blood, blood which is, “warmer than oil or water”, dripping from her slashed veins. Finally, we envision her sitting idle, nearing death, her complexion dull. The next stanza describes the speaker’s state after she has recovered from one of her suicide attempts. “I did not think of my body at needle point.” (16) She did not realize how close she came to death, to her final hour. Yet, although she is still living the suicide attempts have taken their toll on her body as is evident in line 18, “ Suicides have already betrayed the body.” She has the physical scars and disabilities she acquired only after the attempts. The seventh stanza provides the reader with insight to the reasons for the speaker’s relapse in suicidal tendencies. She knows suicide attempts sometimes fail, for she has failed twice, yet she cannot forget the ease with which she can leave the earth. She knows she could take her life at any second because she has experienced the feelings before. She finds the feeling calming, so much so, “ that even children would look on and smile.” ( 21) Sexton’s next stanza, as in the seventh stanza, illustrates the empowerment the speaker experiences in conjunction with suicide. “To thrust all that life under your tongue!- / that, all by itself, becomes a passion.” ( 22 - 23) The speaker cannot banish her suicidal feelings due to the adrenaline rush she experiences just thinking about how she cradles her life in her hands. She knows all too well the ease with which she can end her life. A tiny pill, a few steps to the kitchen for a The ninth stanza shows death personified as a woman waiting eagerly for the speaker to join her. Death waits for the speaker “ to so delicately undo an old wound, / to empty my breath from its bad prison” ( 26 - 27). Death seduces the speaker to cut her flesh once again, to put an end to the hell she endures, to join Death in what the speaker feels is Heaven. With Death the speaker will be free of her “prison” body, free to experience happiness. The final two stanzas of “Wanting to Die” include many images of mortality. Fruit, moon, love, infection, these words are all related to living beings. They all contrast greatly with images of death, the death which could easily take place. With “the page of a book carelessly open, / something unsaid, the phone off the hook / and the love, whatever it was, an infection.” ( 31 - 33), the speaker explains the spontaneity of suicides and the mix of emotions which flash through the mind preceding a suicide. She describes how suicides are often times unplanned and how all the love in the world cannot save a suicidal person. When one commits suicide the first question loved ones ask is “Why?” In Sexton’s poem, “Wanting to Die”, the speaker tries to explain the swirling of emotion which accompanies suicide. She also alludes to the fact that suicidal feelings recur when one may least expect it. The speaker invites the reader to examine all aspects of suicide, and to realize suicidal tendencies are hard to curb. The poem attempts to summarize the feelings of suicide as well as provide insight Bibliography: none
Word Count: 1166
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