oken. For a spouse already undergoing the personal trauma of divorce, the additional burden of children who are harboring and expressing resentment against them can be awfully hard to bear. Another factor that can make divorce from a spouse even harder to deal with than the death of a spouse is the reaction of friends. When someone’s husband or wife dies, their mutual friends always rally around the survivor, and can be wonderful sources of emotional support. But when a divorce occurs friends of the couple tend to feel divided in their loyalties, and friendships are often broken. At a time when someone needs all the friends they can get, and has already been rejected by a husband or wife, it is especially hard to accept the rejection of friends as well. (Schwartz) At this point it would be useful to briefly examine approaches that can be taken by the spouse initiating the divorce that can make the process less devastating for their partner. They should understand that most people respond with sadness to hurt. Many people respond defensively, with anger, especially couples who have been caught in cycles of anger. (Baris) The spouse initiating the divorce cannot stop these feelings in their partner, but they can help by giving that individual time to catch up to them. They can also help by giving their partner one good, adequate explanation as to what went wrong. Many spouses who didn’t want to agree to a divorce never get that and are haunted for the rest of their lives by not really understanding what happened. They never get closure, as they usually get after the death of a spouse, and it makes it more difficult for them to accept the separation and move on. (Baris) In conclusion, statistics indicate that the trauma of divorce and separation will shatter the lives and dreams of approximately one out of every two couples who are married in America. The realities and stages of divorce cause fear, do...
