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Back to Subjects - Psychology

Confident

Confident I don’t want to be here. I don’t think I have the confidence for it. I didn’t want to come here, to confront this. You see, I don’t like crowds and I don’t like pressure; I avoid parties, can’t stand basketball games. I feel awkward here too; a touch of nausea, especially when I can’t think of anything good to say. I have no idea what I sound like. How can I be sure I’m not making a fool of myself? They tell me occasionally that I’m not bad at speaking, but honestly I think I’m terrible. My mind rushes to bring the next words to my lips, and I pray that I don’t trip over the text -- butterflies flitter in my stomach. Sometimes while I’m speaking I ask myself “why am I here, in this situation, and why would on earth would I put myself in here,”(…) and I have no idea. I do know, however, that I’m not alone. Everybody I’ve spoken to isn’t …confident…about himsel for herself in some important way. When it comes to speech, or to integrity or even to action, many people simply don’t believe in themselves -- and they’re pinned down by it. Public speaking (shiver) -- That’s my demon. For a long time I was petrified by the mere thought. I envy people who can do this easily. Like this old friend I have who actually lives here; his name’s Camden. He’s really speech confident; he’s very articulate. He talks to people he doesn’t know without trouble, so much so that last time I visited him he walked up to strangers on the street and lectured them on quantum physics for fun. Much to my surprise, he kept his audience the majority of the time- despite their schedules, despite their appointments. He knows how to speak like an expert on almost anything, and it all comes from his strong confidence in his presentation skills. He’s not afraid to speak; he sounds like he has confidence in what he’s talking about, and it shows in his many victories in life. Being articulate is an important part of your confidence because it’s how you show who you are. Without it you lack that essential ability to communicate your character to the rest of your world. Unfortunately, the person who has this power is somewhat rare. Not many are truly comfortable in their speech, especially under pressure. They can do it, but their discomfort becomes more and more apparent in front of a larger or a more intimidating audience. Of course there are people out there who can speak about anything, and everything. Sometimes, though, the words they produce are hollow, conformist. They have no confidence in their character. No defining views, beliefs or principles that can be shared. No integrity. They simply are who they need to be and nothing more, because they’re so intimidated by everybody else’s standards that they can’t be who they are. They reject and ultimately betray themselves by refusing to stand up and stand out- they blend, they hide, and they stay unsure. But character is essential to the development of a person, because it provides clear guidelines for his or her development as an individual. Without confidence in character you remain hidden, and these values and beliefs and opinions and wonderful things that make a person unique and individual are tucked away in some dark little corner. Often people with poor character confidence copy the styles developed by others. They come to a loss about what to think when confronted with the question “who are you?” or they find themselves with social dilemmas often (…) because they cannot decide what to do; where to go; who to become. But how to you get character? It doesn’t grow on trees or fall out of the sky. It just comes from finding out who you are. Try stuff. It’s that simple. I remember reading acomic strip, “Calvin and Hobbes.” I remember that in the strip Calvin, beaten and battered by his living murderous bicycle, wanders into his living room and his dad says “Well! It looks like somebody’s been building some character!” And even though you don’t have to be maimed riding a bicycle to build character, the general idea is correct. He tried something new. I did it when I went to my first Drama/Debate meet, and quickly discovered how important it is and I found another hidden part… of me. It’s easy! You see something you’ve never done before, you only need the confidence to do it, to take the plunge, to unearth something that may further define you. But the confidence to take these beautiful risks is, sadly, the least common order. Remember when you were in third grade? And that one kid- what’s his name… Butch? Remember when he shoved you around and told you to give him your candy? Happened to me… and I gave him the candy! Fair trade right? Your life in exchange for some chocolate? And how many times did it happen again, because each time you chose security instead of luxury. Well you didn’t just give up luxury, and I’ll tell you why. Because one day I said “no” to Butch. That’s right- I looked him straight in the neck and told him that I was keeping my M&Ms. He got this serene look, just coolly walked up to me and he flattened my nose. I got a fat lip, a couple of battle scars, but there was also something else, something shining and new and powerful. I suddenly I realized that I had the ability to do what I had to. I had been decisive- a man of action, and that took confidence. Trying new things takes confidence in your ability, to take little risks and to challenge the rigors of life. Confidence in action led me to take the right path despite my fears of the hospital. Imagine what I would have done without it—of course I might have spent the rest of my grade school years hiding treats in my secret jacket pocket, but I might also have hidden myself somewhere, and maybe I never would have found my character. Confidence is the builder of heroes, the crowner of kings and the muse of poets. So why reject it for a static personality? Because without these things, we’re boring! We’re a shade of pale gray: with no voice, no action, and no personality. Know who you are and what to do and how to say it. Discover yourself, because that is confidence. Voice your thoughts without fear, because that is confidence. Have faith in your actions and in yourself; that’s confidence too. People don’t fail because they never succeeded; they fail because they had no confidence to speak, no confidence to act, no confidence to find themselves. You only truly fail when you never try! I knew I’d have to stare them down, these butterflies. I force words to my mouth with the faith that they strike as intended. I trust that I have the character to stand here and tell you to find yours. And I am here because of that decisiveness for which I paid such a high price. And in the face of all this (…) confidence (…) I have gathered, Bibliography:

Word Count: 1267