Helping boys reconnect: A primer for parents. At least once a day, give your boy your undivided attention. Play a game, or help with homework. Give him attention and your care. Encourage the expression of a full range of emotions Help him to believe that his emotions are valid. (When an infant cries or frowns, trying to cheer it by laughing and smiling pulls it away from it's true feelings. It begins to learn that "boys don't cry.") When a boy expresses vulnerable feelings, avoid teasing or taunting.His emotions are serious. Avoid using shaming language in talking to boys."How could you do that" casts the boy as the evil perpetrator.Such language carries power and makes the boy feel he is toxic.Look behind anger, aggression, and rambunctiousness.Ask if he is upset, and what about.Tell him that sometimes we act out when something is bothering us.Express your love openly and generously.Cutting off support and affection can traumatize him. Don't circle back to the boy's separation.Let boys know they don't need to be "sturdy oaks".The more he expresses his vulnerability, the stronger he becomes.Create a healthy model of masculinity. ...
