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It is important whether an individual is an only child, first born, second born, third born, a boy among girls, or a girl among boys, and so on. Birth order is a key element in gaining an understanding of one’s self as well as other people. Through birth order placement, one develops a behavior pattern as well as ways of thinking and emotional responses. This effects all aspects of living such as, expectations, mental weaknesses, marriage, and spirituality. Understanding the birth order characteristics is a simple method in determining how and what makes another individual “tick.” An only child is one that has no siblings; they are in fact the “only” child in the family. They are classified as a special case of a first born. Because an only child has no siblings to play with, they have to overcome feelings of loneliness and often times, boredom. To combat their solitude, only children make up imaginary playmates and games to amuse themselves. They also become resentful of adult intrusion and cope with intrusion in one of two ways. They either go into fast mode to avoid the intrusion altogether or they use slow mode, accepting the intrusion and trying to see the help in it. Only children also tend to be extremely selfish. Growing up with 200% of the parents’ attention, they hold much resentment for anything that takes away that attention. Because of this undivided attention, the only child tends to be dependent through their adult lives. It is also common for the child to become bitter towards one parent, usually the parent of the same sex. Only borns are also subject to emotional disturbances. Statistically, they are more apt to require clinical help and to return for further counseling later in life. An example of this would be shown by “In military training camp, only children were more likely to consult a psychiatrist, be diagnosed as psychoneurotic, and be discharged from the service.” (Toman, 1992, p.132) Another characteristic of only children is that they grow up favoring adult company and in turn use adult mannerisms and language at an early age. Other less important attributes of only children are: short tempers which usually result in tantrums, ethicality, constant perseverance for acceptance from all, sets boundaries for themselves and others and is more sensitive to pain. First borns are almost an entirely different in comparison to only children. They tend to be highly motivated and strive to set examples for the younger siblings. Because of this motivation, first borns gravitate toward higher educational and career aspirations than the later born children do. An example of this is the fact that twenty-one of the first twenty-three astronauts were first-born children. They also become the authoritarian and also the protectors of their siblings. This causes them to be very responsible individuals. Insisting that power is their possession, first-borns reach for perfection in every detail and become very determined to have things, as they want them to be. First borns also grow up feeling forgotten by the parents. They grow embittered because they now have to share the parents’ attention with another sibling or siblings. This causes them to crave attention from people. They are apt to be “show-offs” and very demonstrative in their actions. Medically, first-borns are more likely to be born premature and in turn have more birth disorders. They are also more prone to asthma, phobias, and paranoia tendency. Educationally, first-borns have higher I.Q, better information recall, as well as math and science skills. They are more than twice as likely to end up in a position of leadership where their organizational skills are put to the test. Second born children are best described as balanced. Due to their older sibling, second born children have superior cooperational skills and act as mediators between their older sibling and their parents. They often feel neglected and inadequate; feeling as though nothing they do will merit parental attention and appreciation. The felt neglect of these children makes for a high rate of delinquency among second borns. Another attribute of a second born is a high creativity level. Often disregarded by the first born, second borns exercise their creative skills to comfort and amuse themselves. In constant attempts to come out of the older sibling’s shadow, second borns develop a strong sense of determination. They also have an almost unhealthy competition level that usually boils down into rivalry. The second child are sensitive to injustices and unfairness, this is due to their own felt inadequacies. Because of these sensitivities, second borns become very sociable and talkative. They also have a large circle of close friends and connections. In accordance to this, second born females have a statistically higher rate of extraversion. The third born child is typically the most vulnerable child. The second born conveys their own feelings of inadequacy to the third born. The third born does not typically see it as inadequacy but interprets it as vulnerability. Because of this vulnerable feeling, the third child grows up feeling as though they have to be strong in all scenarios. They see the showing of emotions as weakness and tend to be very sparing with their emotional displays. Third borns also have issues with who and when they trust other people. The lack of trust instilled in third borns also makes them go with their own instincts and rarely heed the advice of others. This is a derivative of the constant need for them to choose sides between their siblings and their parents. Third borns are typically grouped with the last born children. Last borns are the “baby” of the family and are never dethroned from that status. This status is usually emphasized by the parents’ tendency to spoil them. Babies of the family also gravitate toward people oriented activities and so become outgoing and creative. Having older siblings to act as “parents” as well, last borns often question authority and sometimes rebel against it. As I.Q. decreases with the increase of a family, last borns are most likely to experience school failure and a lower I.Q. than their siblings are. Last borns have more of a chance of physical disorders as well as alcoholism and schizophrenia. Regardless of these possible setbacks, the last borns tend to be the best liked of all of the possible birth positions. Third born pass on the “ignorance” they received to the fourth born who in turn passes it to the fifth born. After the fifth born, the cycle starts again and the child fit into the respective places. There are many miscellaneous situations that can also affect the personality of an individual. With twins, there is usually a dominant twin. This is the one that the parents see as older and the leader of the two. Because of the constant companionship and grouping of twins, they tend to have identity problems. Another situation is one concerning a “ghost child.” The child born after the death of the first child has a “ghost” in front of them that the parents unconsciously compare them too. Due to the loss of the first child, the parents tend to be very over protective of the rest of their children. This over protection leads the living child to either take advantage of it and exploit it for their well being, or they will rebel against being compared to the idealized memory of an earlier child. Adopted children tend to be spoiled by the parents in their excitement of having a child. Parents of adopted children have a tendency to feel guilty about the lack of the biological parents in the child's life. To stop their own guilt, they try to compensate for the lack and end up in not only spoiling but also confusing the child. An adopted child also has the tendency to either resent or idealize their unknown biological parents. A male child among all female siblings questions his manhood and tries to overcompensate for this by acting tough and “macho” all of the time. A female among male siblings has many protectors. Her brothers often look out for her and are somewhat protective of her. She will either be very feminine to counteract her male role models, or she will be a tomboy and try to outdo her brothers. More often than not she is closer to the father. It is the same with all girls as it is with all boys. The children are involuntarily put into their own roles by the parents and either agree with their position or protest it. Personally, I tend to be a little of both the last born and the second born. In my family, my oldest brother is nine years older than me and so that throws the system off a little. I do fit the description of the only girl among boys however. I am very much a tomboy and I constantly try to outdo my brothers in all areas. My oldest brother is Justin. He fits into the category of the only child more than that of the first child. He was an only child for seven years and so developed more of those characteristics. My second oldest brother, Luke, is only two years older than I am and because of the spacing between the two of us and Justin, he fits more of the mold of the first born. He has always been the mediator of the family and is more introverted than Justin or myself. Justin is more the authoritarian of the group and has the overlying tendency to revel in any level of power he receives. I am the outgoing one of the family and am more liable to question authority than my brothers would. I am the more creative and idealistic sibling. I also tend to appreciate more humor and sarcasm than my brothers do. All in all, I would say that my family fits certain molds, not necessarily our literal places, but each one of us fits one of the described places. Knowing how birth order affects our personalities gives everybody a little more insight into ourselves as well as each other. Deciphering which parts of each “order place” we fit can help to shed some more light on why we are the way we are. Overall, studying birth order is a simple, informative, and entertaining method of realizing your true nature. Bibliography: Bibliography Leman, Kevin. The New Birth Order Book. Self-Counsel Press Press. New York, New York. 2000 Richardson, Ronald. Birth Order and You. Fleming H. Revell Co. New York, New York. 1998 Sulloway, Frank, J. Born To Rebel. Pantheon Books. New York, New York. 1996. Toman, Walter. Family Constellation: Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior. Springer Publishing Co. 1992 Wallace, Meri. Birth Order Blues: How parents can help their children meet the challenges of birth order. Owl Books. New York, New York. 1999 http://www.ag.ohio-state.edu/~ohioline/hyg-fact/5000/5279.html http://www.ncn.net/~cliffi/index.html http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/psychology/birtho.html http://www.tesm.edu/writings/moorbrth.html Word Count: 1789
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