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Back to Subjects - Psychology

marriage

marriage Marriage is a complicated institution. It is a contract for a relationship, which in the past has often been ending up in a divorce. This is different from other decades. In the United States between forty and fifty percent of Americans will end up divorcing (Crawford & Unger, 2000). Now, the question is - what is going on with married couples, and with marriage in general? There is no simple answer for that, but all the changes in the world in the past years could be part of the answer. Society has changed its mentality in a lot of ways, and one of them is the acceptance of divorce as a normal way to end an unhappy relationship. People marry each other for love most of the time; they want to share a life together. But feelings change, families change, and sometimes these changes are irreconcilable. The difference from forty years ago and today is that, now people are getting divorced for all kinds of different reasons that did not exist before. One important example is the change in women’s independence. Women are a lot more independent, and willing to get divorced if they feel they have to. Men are also more often seen performing other roles, that were once only women’s. Sometimes they choose to go on alone, though men are more likely to have a more difficult adjustment to divorce than do women (Crawford & Unger, 2000). People believe that a marriage becomes happier when children come, but a lot of the conflicts that lead to the failure of the contract happen after the “honeymoon period”, which usually ends right after the first child’s birth. The marriage usually demands more work, more responsibilities, and requires more emotional assets. The reasons for the disagreements are different for every couple, but most of them occur because women end up having to perform more roles than men, and end up sometimes having no time to talk to their husbands, or are only more stressed. Marriage usually gets better after the kids grow up and are more self sufficient, giving the parents more time to enjoy each other in a more relaxed way (Carlson & Buskist, 1997). Even though most couples will not wait until the good old days to come back, I see marriage as more positive today than in the past. People are getting married later, because they are in love, and know that they can always end the relationship if they are not satisfied. Before, couples went through hell together but would not, or could not get divorced. People also remarrying more than they used to, searching for another partner to share their lives, and in some times finding happiness with the second or third partner, which is very positive if it happens. Children are also more understanding nowadays than before, because a child will hardly ever be the only child with divorced parents in his or her group of friends, or in school. They are also more open to having a stepparent than before, and some times this is better for the child than not having that figure. I do not see marriage as a declining institution, but as a changing one. It always takes energy, and is emotionally disturbing to go through a divorce, but it is the key for a good adjustment, if one is not satisfied with his or her marriage. Everybody has to seek their happiness, no matter how many contracts they have to break. They can always sign another one, or live an “illegitimate” life style, without going through the whole trouble of marriage. People can live without the “legal proof” they love each other. I believe it is good to have a spouse to share one’s life with, but if it is not working, it is better to go separate ways, whatever it takes to make one happy. That is the popular attitude today, and I believe it will continue to be in the future; the wish of finding happiness. Bibliography:

Word Count: 669