euphoria we get when we "fall in love" for long hours of depression, anger, and hostility when an encounter doesn't follow the fictitious course we have plotted." In 1982, Harlequin Enterprises, Inc. alone sold 109 million romance novels, mainly to women. Romance novels are womens' pornography. They portray the perfect romantic fantasy American women have been socialized to believe is possible, desirable, and the yardstick by which they and their intimate relationships should be measured. There are many other publishers of this type of novel, plus the vast majority of products sold in the U.S. use sex and/or romance as the hook to increase sales. Our consumer driven society requires a huge market for clothes, make- up, cars, bigger homes, and men and women seduced by the idea that only when they acquire these ideal goods will they acquire the ideal relationship that will meet all their needs, make up for every disappointment and make their life complete. There is a lot of money to be made in selling the American dream, and there is a lot of money to be made in convincing women that they should not really strive for equality in all areas, to become full adult partners in relationships, instead have some "true love". Arnold Lazarus, author of "Marital Myths" lists "Husbands and Wives Should Be Best Friends" as myth #1, and "Romantic Love Makes A Good Marriage" as myth #2. After pointing out that marriage licenses are issued by the state with no need to prove competency to acquire one, he suggests that "If people wrote out job descriptions, fully listing exactly what they wished to give and get from marriage, and if each potential partner studied the other's lists before getting engaged, much grief and many dashed hopes could be averted. To do this we would have to examine love and romance, masculine and feminine, and many more of our cherished hopes and dreams. While Americans believe in romance, they also are becoming more and more frigh...
