rough Hella, my image ofGiovanni and the reality of his touch--I hoped to drive out fire with fire”(122). Hisinability to completely shut out his experiences with Giovanni and Giovanni’spersonal downfall after the breakup proved the validity of their mutual connectionand the intense nature of their love. David’s firm realization of his love for Giovanni came only after Giovannihad been caught and sentenced to death for the murder of Guillaume. The guiltover leaving Giovanni and being responsible for Giovanni’s eventual executionchanged David. The idea of Giovanni’s upcoming death left David with a guiltyconscious and an aching heart. David recollects, “No matter how it seems now, Imust confess: I loved him. I do not think that I will ever love anyone like that again. And this might be a great relief if I did not also know that, when the knife has fallen,Giovanni, if he feels anything will feel relief” (112). David craved a salvation whichwould relieve him of his burdened mind, yet now there was no one who could savehim. Giovanni’s inevitable fate turned David against Hella. He could no longerstand to be near her because she is what forced him to leave Giovanni. Anything hefelt towards Hella disappeared with the news of Giovanni’s execution and Davidknew that the self-control which had disabled his ability to truly love Giovanni wasgone. “When my fingers began, involuntarily, to loose their hold on Hella, I realizedthat I was dangling from a high place and that I had been clinging to her for myvery life. With each moment, as my fingers slipped, I felt the roaring air beneath meand felt everything in me bitterly contracting, crawling furiously upward againstthat long fall.” (158) The revelation of David’s true feelings were now impossible tocontain and he lost the control that he continuously desired. David still feared anacceptance of his own humanity, ...
