poured into my mind, confusing my personal feelings even more. Istarted concentrating more on my looks than on school work. My grades fell pretty hard, and myfriends even noticed the change in my moods. It was embarrassing enough to show myself inschool. I didn’t want to leave my house, because I wanted to be alone. It was like being in myown world, and no one understood where I was coming from. I would give up anything to beskinnier, prettier, and more popular. I pushed everyone away, and I tried dealing with mypersonal emotions all by myself. I was destroying my self worth, my self esteem, and mostimportantly, what little pride I still had in me.Another reason I began to want to look better was because of an even bigger part ofsociety. The media--the Internet, magazines, television shows, Miss America pageants,billboards, and even newspapers. When you have time, maybe flip to a page in a “SeventeenMagazine” and show me an overweight girl, with cellulite outlining her thighs and stomach. Pointout a woman with crooked teeth, a huge waist, and a poor makeup job. I doubt you can do it. Ialmost guarantee that. The media confuses us...to the point where we are manipulated intothinking that this “perfect girl image” is only what is accepted these days. Not only is it terrible,but that statement thought of by many women is far from being right.Starving myself for days and spending top dollars on clothes and makeup has not moldedme into the person I am today. As it will never help anyone out in the long run either. It has beenmy courage and strength within myself that gave me that extra self-confidence. Also, the power Ihad to ignore society and the message they have been sending out to the world. Pain, tears, fightswith my parents and friends, ditching classes, trips to the hospital, encounters with the police,poor report cards, three years worth of therapy. Boo. I look back on all of these ...
