any parents (and teens as well) feel they are caught in a situation that is bad; it doesn't make any difference what you do, it still doesn't work. Parent and teen are further apart than ever, and both feel terrible. The reasons are many and complex. Often, parents today do not take enough time, working and playing with their children. They need to realize that the family is a complex emotional system, not a business organization. Parents must convey the message of caring, that "you count, you are important." They must nurture, encourage, show firmness, love, guide, respect, facilitate, and "'let go." Disagreements arise between parents and teens, usually over a matter of control, and the power struggle over "Who's in charge" and "Who's right" begins. Conflict often arises when parent and teen disagree over whether or not the teen has acted responsibly enough in the past to make certain decisions more independently in the future. One reason that the struggle for control continues or heats up is because both parents and teens are human. Parents give up control and then take it back. Teens act responsibly one weekend, irresponsibly the next. There are few things more difficult about being a parent than trying to figure out how to give the teenage son or daughter freedom enough to learn responsibility, self-reliance and the consequences of decision making, yet still keeping some control over behavior that is potentially dangerous. I think they would tell parents to become aware of the reality of their behaviors and decisions. This could mean to give teen’s clear-cut rules and reasonable limits and expecting them to abide by them. They also need to allow adolescents to experience the consequences of their own behavior, no matter how much parents want to protect them. This does not mean that you stop loving or caring about your teenager. It does mean you stop treating your adolescent like a poor, helpless child. It means expecting the ...
