nio,Than to live still, and write mine epitaph (IV.i.116-120).He begs Antonio to let him die for this. Maybe Antonio thinks a life without Bassanio is not worth living. Or perhaps he says this to test him, hoping for the response he gets:BASSANIO:Antonio, I am married to a wifeWhich is as dear to me as life itself,But life itself, my wife, and all the world,Are not with me esteemed above thy life:I would lose all, ay, sacrifice them all,Here to this devil [Shylock], to deliver you (IV.i.294-299).But even with his worth recognized by Bassanio, Antonio's overall mood remains unchanged. He is sad, almost anhedonic, in that he never attains any truly positive feelings. This being a comedy, his depression shines through the humor like, as Portia states in act V, a candle in a dark hallway. Were this a drama, he would fit in perfectly. In the grand scheme, Antonio's sexuality is not the important thing found while wading through the subtext of the play. Whatever they may be, Antonio's decisions are always tainted, if not full of the goal of further sadness. So Antonio, the established "dose of drama", acknowledges that he is best (and most useful plot-wise) when sad, and perhaps subconsciously does what he can do to keep himself this way. And he does: by yearning for a man he can never have, digging himself into debt with Shylock (even when aware of the dangers), and dramatically lamenting, even without a good reason to. While most characters change from beginning to end, Antonio only gains in his gloom. He begins sad, and ends unfulfilled. Portia mentions briefly that his ships have returned safely, but this somewhat artificial (and all too convenient) relief is not what he wants. He wants to remain himself: to remain dejected, forlorn and inconsolable. For if he remains himself, than the play has authentic drama and emotion....
