ters with sympathizers are regulated. Normal rules governing the privacy of the bereaved family are put aside. Neighbors drop in, telephone, often unannounced, to offer condolences. The visits may not be appropriate in terms of family function but family is not expected to reject or disregard them.There is an obligation to view the corpse and 'say the right things'. Even though there is considerable social exchange between friends and relatives during visitation there is the expectation that upon arriving at the funeral home visitors go immediately to the coffin to view the deceased and offer condolences to the next of kin.Flowers are an expected and usually welcome token of respect and affection but who sends what kind and the value of flower arrangements is regulated by custom and culture. The presence of an expensive coffin spray, usually arranged for by the spouse, from the deceased's secretary may cause a stir. The position of ones car in the procession to the cemetery is usually arranged so that immediate family, usually in a rented limousine, follows immediately behind the hearse. Other family members follow behind in their vehicles with the deceased's social and business acquaintances following in the rear. There is a definite protocol to be observed at the graveside. Where people stand in proximity to the grave, which places the first flower on the casket, are examples of the influence of culture on our behavior and beliefs.These, and many other variables that we may consider to be part of the norm in North America, may distort our perceptions of the validity and use the customs and beliefs of other cultures.It's important to keep this in mind when we begin to explore the richness of our own heritage and that of the cultural diversity that exists in our world....
