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Back to Subjects - Speech

Listening

Listening Captivating, stirring, magnetic, interesting, and refreshing are just a few words to describe my professional interview. Richard Luna is an Associate Minister at Pollard United Methodist Church in Tyler Texas. He spends approximately 8 hours a week in formal counseling, and an additional 6-8 hours in unarranged counseling. Reverend Luna has enough collegiate hours to be a medical doctor. He received his Bachelor’s degree in Christian Education, then attended seminary, and his next step was receiving two Master degrees consecutively, the first being in Theology, and the second in Professional Counseling. When asked what motivated him to spend so many years in school, he told this intriguing story. “When I was at my first assigned church, during my last year of seminary; I was engaged but not yet married. I had a couple come to me for marriage counseling, that were very good friends of my fiancé and I. They had been married for 17 years, and I was at a loss for how to help them. I decided I never wanted to have to turn people away again.” The first listening concept discussed in this interview, was that of perception checking. Reverend Luna said this is especially important marriage counseling. Due to an overwhelming amount of ‘miscommunication’ Perception checking is one of the first things he teaches couples to use, even in pre-marital counseling. Mr. Luna also said “If you don’t understand what a person is communicating to you, and you go on responding in way that is not appropriate to their purpose, it can become a serious problem in ALL relationships.” The second concept we discussed in this interview, was that of listening barriers. Reverend Luna’s advice on listening barriers was to first be able to recognize the barrier, and then try to overcome it. If the barrier cannot be broken, the best thing to do is remove yourself from the communication if possible, because no one is benefiting from it. Mr. Luna did not limit the barriers just to others, but also to himself. He was very open about his urge to talk too much hinders his effectiveness as a listener. Although he feels he is a good listener he feels he would be better, if he could manage his energy to play ‘Mr. Fix It’ a little less and ‘Mr. Good Listener’ a little more. The reverend also pointed out another barrier I had not thought of. Specifically to counseling situation, if a person is not willing to be open, and answer questions than he cannot help them. He told of a young woman who came for counseling one afternoon. When he began to ask her specific questions, she would only respond with very generic answers. After about ten minutes of trying to perform the task she initially had asked for, Reverend Luna thought it best she try counseling with someone, and she agreed. Not only does a professional listener need listening skills, but confidence and assertiveness to handle situations such as these. I learned several important listening issues from this interview. When discussing different types or styles of listening Mr. Luna listed the following; first, sometimes listening can be as simple as being a body for someone to vent to, second, sometimes people just need you to validate their feelings by perception checking and not giving answers. And third, sometimes people want you to listen to a situation and then give sound advice. Reverend Luna that figuring out what kind of listener they want or need is relatively easy. Once you understand what they need the problem usually gets solved whether he says anything or not. Once people verbalize their problems out loud they often recognize the solution and wonder why they couldn’t see it before. Other times people come to him with deep spiritual issues with deep spiritual questions and concerns. In these listening situations Mr. Luna gets to talk more! Reverend Luna also took on a different opinion on mechanical speech. For example when discussing if “hi, how are you” is an ethical communication he gave this response. “As much as it may seem mechanical, that’s not always true. Because when you don’t say ‘hi how are you’ then that communicates a whole other idea. That you may be upset, or mad at the person you did not speak to. On the other hand if you pass someone in the hallway and say ‘hi how are’ and they answer truthfully you’re in trouble! Because we don’t really want to know right then how that person is, we just want to acknowledge their existence and importance to us.” Another interesting thing I was glad to learn from Mr. Luna is that even when he’s not in the mood to listen to people who drop in unannounced, interrupting his schedule. He often finds (after getting passed the frustration) that listening to this person in need is much better use of his time than whatever else he was doing. For example one day he had to make some visits at the hospital but was in a hurry, and didn’t want to spend a long time. When he got the third ladies room, she was asleep, and he was relieved to not have to spend time here. While leaving her a not beside her bed the woman woke up. Feeling irritated he went on to visit and pray with her. After he finished his prayer for, she grasped his hand and began to pray for him. He described this in one word; humbling. “Their I was glad, to not have to visit with another person, and I was missing the mark the whole time. I am blessed just as much as the people I listen to, if I can keep my heart and eyes on God, and doing his work.” I believe that Reverend Luna is a successful professional listener that all can learn from. This interview was not only interesting, but captivating. Having learned several new ideas, and seeing certain listening concepts we’ve discussed in action was beneficial in furthering my listening ability. I also believe that my listening in this interview was successful! Bibliography:

Word Count: 1021