They did not become addicted, but turned back toward what was rewarding and satisfying. Others, like me, found ourselves increasingly dependent upon substances to keep us going, fuel our relationships, and provide us with a sense of connection and meaning. Although I think I knew it in some part of me, for the most part I denied that I was an alcoholic. I thought I was just fun-loving and making up for lost time.
People are so familiar with the concept of denial, that it is almost a joke. But, it is not very humorous for the people who have to deal with an individual in denial. Although I was aware that I was consuming a lot of alcohol, and some drugs, I thought that I was just making up for lost time and sowing my wild oats. I did not think that I had a problem that needed to be addressed. Anyone who indicated that I might have a problem, I ridiculed. Anyone who persisted, however, I eliminated from my life. I did not want people to contradict my vision of reality.
However, my vision of reality was to be disturbed by my own actions, rather than anyone else's conversations. I proceeded on the same course, although periodically giving myself a drying-out spell in order to pursue work or other interests and just to "prove" to myself that I could not possibly have any problems with alcohol. Clearly, I could stop when I wished and I had control of the situation.
Then I lost my job at the time. The boss said t