in which the term "myself" was used incorrectly, Kelley writes, "It is most often heard as the first part of a compound subject, to wit 'Myself and Viola Lou are goin' to git on the outside of some Lone Star this very night.'" Kelley's reply is entertaining by then saying, "Not only is that unacceptable, it is flagrantly discourteous. It is the grammatical equivalent of going through a door first and letting it slam in Viola's face. Viola Lou should kick you real hard and I hope she does. Though, if you drink Lone Star, you probably wouldn't feel a kick in the shins."Kelley uses several different patterns for his essay, but the Primary Pattern is evaluation. The way he tells us his opinion is not is any structural manner other than he placing his values before us. This is what he believes is the right way, and he is offering it up for scrutiny by others. "As far as I am concerned, there is no such thing as accepted modern usage. I refuse to accept any usage that is defined as modern." By this he is telling us what he knows to be true, and this is his evaluation on the subject. One of the Secondary Patterns in this piece of work, is narration. While giving us his beliefs, he must refer to examples to reinforce his cause, and these examples are told in a narrative fashion. "After a few hours of bucking bales, the little spears and splinters of hay are stinging your arms like too fanged elves and sand dunes begin to pile up in your throat. Your back becomes a reservoir of ache and you must take car to avoid any errant cow that may have wandered into the field, for fear that it will mistake your skin for a salt block and lick you to death on the spot."This is when your partner stretches, looks up at that fiendish fireball in the sky and wails, 'Oh my sweet Lord, but I could go for the coldest beer this old world ever dreamed of.'"This sequence of events has been given as a story of something happening in the present, as Kelley narrated in ...
