oes on is how David is so capable of convincing Hella and Giovanni that he truly loved both of them. He kept both of them in his life but never truly knew what he wanted. In his mind, he wanted the perfect American family to bring home to his father yet he could never resist the desire for men that he held within. Always in the back of his mind, David knew what Europe was going to be for him. He knew it wasn’t going to be a search for a home but a search for his sexuality. How he uses his two lovers is very intriguing because his “love” for both of them was truly only a sense of security. Davis states about Giovanni, “Sometimes I thought, but this is your life. Stop fighting it. Stop fighting. Or I thought, but I am happy. And he loves me. I am safe. Sometimes…I thought, I will never let him touch me again (p.88)”. From Hella to Giovanni his confusion never stops because with Hella his dreams of a life could come true but with Giovanni his deep desire no longer is hidden.As David’s moods swing back and forth his love for each Hella and Giovanni conveniently change. When Hella leaves to go to Spain, David begins a wonderful relationship with Giovanni yet as her return comes closer he begins to question his professed love. He states, “Yet is was true…I wanted children. I wanted to be inside again, with the light and safety, with my manhood unquestioned, watching my woman put my children to bed…I could make it real. It only demanded a short hard strength for me to become myself again (p.103).” His notion of safety changes and so does his love. Wherever he feels that safety can be found he believes that he has found love yet in reality that his love is only a mask for the fear of the unknown. David seems to be seeking for something to make him feel safe yet that “web of safety” is not something to be found in another person. Rather, that sense of safety that he is...
