satisfaction or happiness in Paul’s life. Even his home, away from the association with others, made Paul feel miserable inside. Every place he went gave him a “repulsion for the flavorless, colorless mass of everyday existence” (71). As a critic, I felt that Paul was able to find fulfillment (to an extent) when he went to Carnegie Hall or to the theatre. This was where he was able to recognize his maternal instincts that he involuntarily has inside him. He looks suave when he goes to these places, in order to impress. He is physically and emotionally different while in these situations. “He grew more and more vivacious and animated and the color came back to his cheeks and lips” (70). The theatre and Carnegie Hall provided for forms of the arts where all people are alike in their appreciation for the entertainment. It is times for people to relax and let the art take over their mind. Interpreting the artistic skills is in the mind of the beholder. Nothing is right or wrong, and nobody has the upper hand. Even though Paul was still alone on the outside, he had finally found something that he would let inside to his spirit, and in that sense he was not alone here. Paul kept returning to Carnegie Hall and the theatre for the freedom it permitted. He was able to lose himself when the symphony began at the Hall, and it “seemed to free some hilarious and potent Paul 5 spirit within him; something that struggled there . . .” (70). He was releasing the pains and sadness that held him down, and for once he felt life inside of him. His struggles in life were set free by the beauty of the sounds and imagery. These forms of art gave him excitement and enjoyment for the moment. I believe this was his mother emerging from inside him – it was qualities and likings of hers that made Paul feel complete. Even the red carnation that often he had sported on his coat was the symbol of his mother that he could...
