volves the hopes, intentions and emotions that every individual brings to the stepfamily in the primary process. “The stepfamily’s history of loss endangers a distinct set of myths and dreams, which are in turn flavored by the fact that most people come to stepfamily living with only the experience of the biological family to draw upon.” (Beers 61). In his book Stepfathering, Mark Bruce Rosin conducted interviews with stepfathers like him and recounted them to his readers. “My interviews with other stepfathers have taught me that my misconceptions about stepfamily are extremely typical. As a recent stepfather with two biological children from a previous marriage and one stepchild from his new marriage reflected: “I, like most people, thought that the stepmarriage would be very much like the first marriage. It isn’t. It’s really a totally different experience” (Rosin 20). The new stepparent is attempting to don the role of an adult authority and there is extended pressure to fill the traditional role left vacant by the former biological parent. The remarried couple usually imagine themselves as healers, aiming to mend and reconstruct their family with the most optimistic approach. Or, the new stepparent may expect the children of their new spouse to take a passive role in the family. (Beers, 61). The myths are debunked early on in the process of stepfamily development. The following example illustrates the vastness in the ocean between fantasy and reality. In his book, Stepfathering, Rosin recounts his experience with his girlfriend’s children who were only six and ten years old apiece. His girlfriend, Cynthia, had arranged for a time when she could discuss with her children her impending marriage to Rosin. “What does that mean?” Kevin, her son asked, his eyes already filling with tears. “It means we are lovers,” she replied. “What does that mean?”...
