didn’t want to lose the momentum. She took a few seconds to regroup before taking the seat opposite her. She responded as Virginia, by stating she was sorry that her daughter felt that way, but she was only trying to help and felt the criticism was constructive and something that Paula needed to hear. This dialogue ran on for a few more minutes and by this time I felt I had a grasp on the internal polarities. Before we concluded stage 2, I asked Paula to come up with a “desired solution” to this conflict. She simply stated that she wanted her mother to “back off” and be more accepting. Stage 3 – Working with Internal Polarities Before we proceeded to this stage, I made it clear that we were letting her mother go and continued by explaining that the external conflict she just experienced was actually a manifestation of internal conflict (of course, I used simpler language). I shared with her what I believed to be her internal polarities. Paula represented the part of her that wanted to be accepted as is but was too insecure to demand it. Virginia represented the more assertive side who was very harsh and judgmental of Paula. Without much hesitation, she agreed that these were accurate observations. I asked the longing to be accepted, insecure Paula to physically identify with this polarity by taking on her supposed posture. She immediately responded by slumping in her chair, folding her arms in her lap, and staring down at her shoes. I then asked her what her motto would be and she replied, “Love me for who I am”. I had her switch chairs and take on the posture of the assertive, harsh, and judgmental Paula, she then sat up very straight with both feet firmly planted on the ground and her hands resting on the arms of the chair. She appeared as if she were ready to pounce on someone at any instant. Her motto was, “I tell it like it is”. Paula was now keenly aw...
