nother. Although, as I mentioned before, by the time High School comes around, students have made up their minds about how they feel towards the topic.I had many feminine influences in my life. My father worked third shift, so I never got to see him very much. My mother did the bulk of my upbringing. I spent more time cooking, shopping, and chatting with Mom than I did learning to play baseball and be tough with Dad. I also grew up in a neighborhood of girls. In lieu of playing with toy trucks, plastic guns, and dirt bikes, I played dress-up, house, and Barbies. I cried a lot as a child, and I still do today. Now you are probably thinking that playing with trucks and playing war does not make a young boy heterosexual. This is true, but the activities I partook in made me a more sensitive person. I was certainly in touch with my feminine side. Being so Beck 9sensitive and in such an environment, I believe that I came to terms more easily with my homosexuality and was less afraid of it. This is not to say I wasn’t afraid when I first became attracted to boys.Junior High is probably one of the most difficult points in any child’s life, and that is when I first noticed my homosexual tendencies. It was out of an insult that I first actually thought about. Someone started spreading a rumor that I had sent a fellow male classmate a carnation for Valentine’s day, which, of course, was not true. Everyone thought I was gay, and insults were being thrown left and right. It’s what made me first identify it; “am I really gay?” It’s just the same as someone being made fun of for being overweight; it would consume that person’s thoughts too. For a few years, I thought my attraction toward other guys was just a phase and that I would get over it. To hide and ignore this, I dated a couple girls, almost to convince myself that I wasn’t gay. I soon came to realize that thi...
