looking at the work done by Ph. D's such as John Gray and Deborah Tannen, and author's like Roger Fisher and William Ury, we can see how gender plays such as important role in Alternative Dispute Resolution. In this paper, I will first explain how men and women come from different worlds, the reasons behind the communication barriers that exist between them, how communication relates to divorce to finally define the importance of gender interchange that lies embedded in the practice of mediation. I. Men and Women: Two Different WorldsMost frequent complaintsMen offer solutions and women seek to improve. Women complain the most that men do not listen. Either they completely ignore her, or offer a solution to fix it. He is confused that that she doesn't appreciate the gesture. She just wants empathy, and he thinks that she needs a solution. Men complain the most about women trying to change them. She keeps trying to help him, but he just wants her acceptance. "A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results," (Gray, 16). To offer a man excessive advice is to assume that he doesn’t know what to do himself. Men do not talk about their problems unless he needs advice form an expert. This is part of the reason why men persist on offering solutions to women's problems. He doesn't understand that support can be enough. On the other hand "A woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and quality of her relationships," (Gray, 18). Communication is of primary importance. Women are more relationship than goal oriented, and they are intuitive. These two traits are completely opposite for men and women, because women can not understand that offering advice is offensive to a man any more than a man can not understand that he shouldn't try to fix every problem and just listen instead. Offering solutions and seeking to improve are both two positive aspects of mediation. The more solutions the be...
