your shortcomings, you find someone who is the opposite of you and who you think will make up for your shortcomings). Although in some cases opposites may attract, marrying someone whose traits are significantly different from your own will probably lead to conflict and dissatisfaction. When Jason-an impulsive spender-met Mary, he was attracted to her self-control and thriftiness. He thought she would be a good complement to him if they married. She would keep his spending sprees under control! After less than two years of marriage his label of her as “thrifty” had evolved into “stingy”! They even fought about money on their honeymoon!The reality: A person should choose someone to marry whose personal characteristics are similar to his or her own. “Polar opposites may find one another enjoyable, different, and alluring for a limited time. However, long-term relationships usually flourish when similarity rather than dissimilarity prevails.” The next five myths concern the process of selecting someone to marry and preparing for marriage. LOVE IS ENOUGH: The myth: Being in love with someone is sufficient reason to marry that person. Simply because you are profoundly attracted to a person and have passionate feelings of love does not mean for a moment that you should marry that person! Falling in love is easy. Marriage based mostly on emotion or hormones rather than reason is dangerous. Premarital relationships based mostly on these factors often result in premature marriages before people really know each other well. Romantic love actually may be something else, for example, a strong sex drive, a flight from loneliness, a neurotic attachment (as in the case of an over-adequate partner married to an under-adequate partner), or an excuse for domination and control. “The expression ‘I love you’ has such immutable place in our traditions that it can serv...
